Thursday, April 29, 2010

Crybaby


Crybaby, originally uploaded by A!ison.

Got up early this morning to get Baby Kitty to the vet to put her to sleep. My husband and I agreed that she was OUR cat and therefore the heavy task of delivering her should not rest on only one of us, we would take her together.

We sat her carrier on the floor of the vets office. I filled out the paper work and when I was done, I looked over to her. This was a big mistake. Her entire body was as close to the floor of that carrier as it could get, except for her neck which was stretched out. She was frantically looking around and sniffing. I could she that she was scared to death (no pun intended). I immediately started crying. I wanted to pick her up and pet her till she purred. I couldn't take it. I told my husband to finish up and went to the car.

I cried all the way home. My heart broke into pieces. And all I kept seeing was her little face through the carrier. My husband said the vet asked if we wanted to be with her as he put her down and the thought of that started a whole new wave of tears. We should have been with her! Held her so she was just a little bit less scared. My husband only confirmed what I was thinking which then stung my tears with guilt.

As we neared home, I tried to regain composure. My cousin was bringing his son over for the day. I didn't want to be a blubbering mess when they arrived. Thankfully I stopped. The one thought that calmed me was that Baby Kitty was no longer in any pain. As I sat waiting for my cousin I snapped this picture of my red puffy eye. I didn't really think I would use it. I thought for sure I would have something more uplifting to share but as I got ready to load the picture today, I thought this was the one that summed it all up. My day was shadowed with grief for my Baby Kitty.

3 comments:

Lindsey said...

Baby Kitty isn't hurting anymore. But she will be missed...a ton!

PJ said...

sucks being a grown-up...xo

Rev Roo said...

I know you won't believe me, but I'm very sad too :( -- I know baby kitty wasn't my BFF, but she was yours, which made her mine...I'm sorry you are hurting.
Linds is right, baby kitty isn't hurting anymore. You and Kelley provided a great "kitty life" of love and care for her and that says alot about you two!! I pray your heart will be healed and I believe you and Kelley are better people because of baby kitty being a part of your family!!